You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
