Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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