I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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