my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
