I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
