He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
