You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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