He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
