When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just googled if crying burns calories
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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