The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
