Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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