I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
