I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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