his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize