She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
