we're chasing vodka with high fives
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It's blow job season.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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