on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
