remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would photoshop your dick
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize