I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize