just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My pussy is not your playground.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
