I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
there's paper in my vomit.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize