i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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