I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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