..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
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