you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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