i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
