her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize