: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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