I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize