you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
