why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
