I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
