just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
