I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
