i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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