Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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