yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
