If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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