nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
