in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
