I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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