i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
