Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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