p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
