Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
