I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
