This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
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I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
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But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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