How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
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You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
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We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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