Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
