so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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