p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
