Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
