Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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