Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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