i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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