The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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