I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
