Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
