Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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