We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
