We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
