Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
