somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
